U.S.
  • Full Archive
  • Covers


Punchlines

  • Print
  • Email
  • Share
  • Reprints
  • Related

"There's been a myriad of sporadic cease-fires in the Middle East over the last 60 years--indeed, over the last three millennia ... Still, I think this one's going to last. Call it a hunch." ROB CORDDRY

"Did you have trouble at the airport? I had to throw away all my makeup. I believe it's an elaborate ruse perpetrated by the big cosmetics industry. Maybe it's not terrorism. Maybe it's Maybelline." JIMMY KIMMEL

"NASA lost the original film of the moon landing. Well, you know, in their defense, they're not exactly rocket scientists." DAVID LETTERMAN

For more political humor, visit time.com/cartoons


Connect to this TIME Story

Interact with
this story

  • Facebook







Get the Latest News from Time.com
Sign up to get the latest news and headlines delivered straight to your inbox.

Quotes of the Day »

MANNY RAMIREZ, L.A. Dodgers outfielder, on his plans to seek "the highest bidder" in free agency after a monster season




U.S.
  • Full Archive
  • Covers