The Ana Log: Sep. 4, 2006

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TOUCH THE MONKEY George Allen's "macaca" remark continues to plague the Virginia Senator, who delivers multiple apologies--including one from the hitherto unplumbed "deepest part of my heart." But it isn't until 10 days after the event that Allen finally apologizes directly to the alleged macaca, S.R. Sidarth. "He didn't realize how offended I was until he heard my comments from the media," says Sidarth. The Allen campaign has spent almost two weeks trying to convince voters that Allen isn't racist, just clueless. They may be right.

GET VOTES OR DIE TRYING Hip-hop mogul Russell Simmons stumps for G.O.P. Senate candidate Michael Steele of Maryland, causing Republican consultants' heads to explode. We can just envision D.N.C. chairman Howard Dean working up a response song that would try to rhyme rap standard Gin and Juice with "impeach Bush."

EVEN A HALF-EMPTY GLASS IS BETTER THAN A GLASS THAT'S BEEN SHATTERED ON THE FLOOR In a rare presidential press conference, George W. Bush highlights his Administration's newest spin on the war in Iraq, which is: It could be worse. This is also the Democrats' position on Social Security, but with more terrorists being created and less confusing math.

WE'RE NOT COMPLETE WONKS What Katrina anniversary? What terror scare? The only story Washington can't take its eyes off: alleged JonBenet killer John Mark Karr. Freaky.