Punchlines: Sep. 18, 2006
"School has started again. All across the country, millions of kids are back at it--back to history, social studies, wedgies, noogies, swirlies, wet willies, algebra and purple nurples." JIMMY KIMMEL
"The Ford Motor Co. announced today that it has hired the head of Boeing Commercial Airplanes as its new CEO. The ex--Boeing chief says he's going to improve Ford cars by taking away the legroom and installing a crying baby." CONAN O'BRIEN
"In the Gulf of Mexico, drillers just discovered what could turn out to be the largest oil reserve ever. It could boost U.S. oil reserves by 50% and supply us with nearly 15 billion barrels of gas and oil. Bush heard about the discovery and ordered the immediate invasion of Louisiana." JAY LENO
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