Punchlines: Oct. 16, 2006

"The White House says that President Bush is getting so many requests to campaign with other Republicans that he's running out of time. Not surprisingly, the requests are all coming from Democrats." CONAN O'BRIEN

"Federal investigators have found that a $75 million project to build the largest police academy in Iraq has been so badly mismanaged that it is a health risk to recruits. It's all in the hilarious new movie Police Academy 8: Doing Asbestos We Can." AMY POEHLER

"Author Bob Woodward has now written a third book about the President and the war in Iraq. The first two books said Bush was firmly in command of a well-run team, but this book says there was a lot of confusion and bickering. So here's my question: Shouldn't we be able to get our money back on the first two books?" JAY LENO

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