Punchlines: Nov. 20, 2006

By DEPARTMENT Sunday, Nov. 12, 2006

"Britney Spears filed papers asking for sole custody of their two sons, and then yesterday Kevin Federline filed papers asking that he get sole custody. Today the babies filed papers asking Brad and Angelina to adopt." JIMMY KIMMEL

"The new Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, had lunch today with President Bush, but the lunch, honestly, did not go well. She would not pass him anything he asked for." DAVID LETTERMAN

"There were many reports of problems with the electronic voting machines, especially the new touch-screen machines. In fact, in Congressman Mark Foley's district, some of the machines were touched inappropriately." CONAN O'BRIEN

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"They haven't paid a penny."
ROBB LEVIN, resident of Fairfax, Virginia, on the $15,000 lawsuit settlement made against Tareq and Michaele Salahi, the White House gate crashers, who are also involved in at least 15 other civil suits
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Quotes of the Day »

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"They haven't paid a penny."
ROBB LEVIN, resident of Fairfax, Virginia, on the $15,000 lawsuit settlement made against Tareq and Michaele Salahi, the White House gate crashers, who are also involved in at least 15 other civil suits
More Quotes »

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