Punchlines: Dec. 18, 2006

"Right now the two Democrats throwing their hat in the ring for 2008 are Tom Vilsack and Evan Bayh. To give you an idea of how unknown these guys are, their Secret Service code names are Tom Vilsack and Evan Bayh."

JAY LENO

"Taco Bell has had to close several restaurants because an outbreak of E. coli has made customers sick. As a result, Taco Bell is changing their slogan from 'Think Outside the Bun' to 'Puke Outside the Store.'"

CONAN O'BRIEN

"Today was the first and only day of confirmation hearings for [Rumsfeld's] replacement Robert Gates. The committee immediately confirmed the guy. They really only had one question: Are you now or have you ever been Donald Rumsfeld? He said no."

STEPHEN COLBERT

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