Calling The Clairvoyant Hotline

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Fashion people call everyone a visionary. The person who came up with slimmer suits? Visionary! Denim formal wear? Visionary! That bra that pushes and separates at the same time? Actually, that guy was a visionary.

But if I'm going to bother talking to someone about fashion's future, I'm not going to waste my time with Tom Ford's hazy guesses. I'm going to an actual spiritual medium: James Van Praagh. Having hosted the syndicated show Beyond with James Van Praagh and having written both Talking to Heaven and Reaching to Heaven, Van Praagh has 22 years of paranormal experiences. Can Tom Ford talk to dead people? If not, then I'm not letting him pick out my spring '08 wardrobe.

Van Praagh, wearing a tasteful striped, button-down shirt and black pants, said he was excited about making some fashion predictions. "I do a lot of aesthetic work," he said, telling me about his business designing healing gardens. "And I watch a lot of HGTV."

Sitting on the porch outside his bungalow on the CBS lot, where he is a co-executive producer of Ghost Whisperer, Van Praagh spewed predictions, often interrupting his fashion visions with personal revelations about my future. "Headpieces—I don't want to say hats. Not hats. But a simple hat kind of thing," he pronounced. And then, "I see kids in your future. Sooner than you think. You're going to have a son." Followed by, "Bolder prints for women. Big prints like 1965, '66—that look." And, "Who's Alex? That's someone you'll meet. Maybe for a child. Alec or Alex." Then, suddenly, "Women's shoes. Elegant—I keep getting shoes—the heel is more defined."

And there was more. Boutique stores will reign. Bracelets will be huge. Buddhist symbols and peace signs will be popular. Men will carry handbags. Sunglasses companies will extend their brand to clothes and handbags. I was pleased to learn that the next two years are going to bring a lot more cleavage. "A natural bosom kind of thing. Like Jennifer Love Hewitt." Sometimes visions come with plugs for the TV show you get paid by.

Not knowing how this whole medium thing worked, I brought several swatches of fabric that I thought might speak to him. Van Praagh felt the gold lamé and the pink floral print and didn't say anything. Then, running a piece of denim through his fingers, he said, "A lot with denim. More denim. I think you'll see lines that are simpler and cheaper and more accessible."

Looking to step it up a bit, I asked Van Praagh what fashion will look like a decade from now. I expected some kind of shaking or a trance or at least some touching of the temples. Nothing. Van Praagh didn't even pause; he just kept on talking. "Hairstyles will change drastically. I see unisex type of things." But the textile future was still coming in hazy. "I can't describe what textile it is, but large stitching." And—more good news—2015 will mean a lot more skin. "Josh, have you ever been to Brazil? It's beautiful. Women go topless on the beach. People will be O.K. with it." When a psychic predicts a future where women will be topless, you don't question his inability to envision your name correctly.

When I asked him for visions of 100 years from now, Van Praagh nailed surprisingly clear predictions. "Funny thing is—this sounds weird—but something that has to protect the skin. I don't want to say space suits, but something that protects us from rays coming through. Something that provides its own environment, like a second skin." Or a space suit. He also predicted "some kind of glasses that protect from the sun's rays." I didn't want to say anything, but sunglasses seemed a tad disappointing as 2107 invention.

Still, as a visionary, Van Praagh was far more forward thinking than anyone else in this issue. His concept of the future is bold and beautiful and, though he kept saying "this is really weird," not at all weird. Just awesome. I'm going to carry a man bag, see more breasts and have one son named Alex and another named Alec. Waving goodbye, as he walked back into his cheery bungalow just across the street from the façade used for My Three Sons, Van Praagh, looking almost beatific, yelled, "Nice meeting you, Josh!" And, for a moment, I felt pretty sure that in a few months, I will be changing my name to Josh.