Weighty Issues for Parents

Illustration by Dan Page for TIME.

Illustration by Dan Page for TIME.

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Finally, you can try to lighten the guilt load a bit. "There's a lot of parent-blaming that goes on," says the New York Obesity Research Center's Carnell, part of a British team trying to tease out just how genetics affect appetite, "and I think that's probably unfair. Parents are a powerful influence, but there are other influences as well--like genes." Recognizing that at least some cards in the obesity hand are dealt even before a child is born can be an important first step for parents and kids accustomed to thinking their weight woes are all their own fault. Recognizing that there are a lot of cards they can still play is the next--even more important--one.