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SHOCKING

PAULA JONES and GENNIFER FLOWERS offer details of Clinton affairs for $1.99 each online

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN: THE OPERA Including the hit aria I wish I knew how to quit you

AC/DC album to be sold exclusively at Wal-Mart. For those about to rock, Aisle 5 salutes you

LAUREN HUTTON delivers bizarre award-acceptance speech during bizarre Bravo A-List Awards

MEERKAT MANOR star Rocket Dog killed in hit-and-run, the fourth death in two seasons. Remaining meerkats demand hazardous-duty pay

LEONARDO DICAPRIO to star in a film about the founder of Atari. Two hours of Pong still better than The Beach

An 800-word HARRY POTTER prequel auctioned for more than $48,000

SCARLETT JOHANSSON e-mails regularly with Barack Obama. OMG!

PREDICTABLE

BOY GEORGE to tour U.S. for the first time in a decade. U.S. asks, Do you really want to hurt me?

Anarchy in the greenroom: Sex Pistols frontman JOHN LYDON (a.k.a. Johnny Rotten) sued for assaulting assistant

BILL COSBY'S sweaters auctioned on eBay for Father's Day. Pudding-pop stains included

MICHELLE OBAMA to guest-host The View. Fist bumps all around

THE SMURFS movie announced. Cultural strip-mining of the 1980s now complete

Friday director F. Gary Gray to helm MARVIN GAYE biopic

Heroes' HAYDEN PANETTIERE to release first single in August. Muffle the cheerleader, save the world

BRITNEY SPEARS. Doing just fine

Video of AMY WINEHOUSE singing racist children's rhyme surfaces. Apparently not doing just fine

SHOCKINGLY PREDICTABLE