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SHOCKING

BALLOON MAN flies to Idaho

MADONNA and A-ROD! Totally explains why he was out for weeks with a "groin pull"

Man defaces HITLER head at Berlin wax museum. Wax Goebbels requests transfer to Buenos Aires branch

Lost footage of German silent film METROPOLIS found in Argentina

Former Clinton spokesman HOWARD WOLFSON to join Fox News

MCCONAUGHEY baby born wearing more clothes than Daddy

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL stars unlikely to sign on for fourth installment

PREDICTABLE

SACHA BARON COHEN suspected of orchestrating gay cage fight in Arkansas. Sure, Arkansas, sure

CROCODILE DUNDEE at war with Australian tax authorities

OSBOURNE FAMILY to host Fox variety show

NICOLE KIDMAN names baby Sunday Rose Urban. J. Crew wishes it had thought of that

DREW BARRYMORE and Mac guy JUSTIN LONG go their separate ways. He'll always have PC Guy

VILLAGE PEOPLE'S policeman undergoes vocal-cord surgery, decades too late

MICHAEL VICK files for bankruptcy

Rapper DMX arrested for third time in two weeks

ASHLEY DUPRE in negotiations for reality show. Other reality shows actually ashamed

SHOCKINGLY PREDICTABLE