Shallow Hal

Hal (Jack Black), a cheerful boor in denial about the foxy women who deny him, meets a heavenly being (motivational flack Tony Robbins!) who lets Hal see the beauty of homely women--to him, the hippopotamic Rosemary looks like Gwyneth Paltrow. This fable, with its Shrek-like conceit, could be the Farrellys' mission statement about their fascination with human eccentricities: retardation in There's Something About Mary, albinism in Me, Myself & Irene, obesity, spinal bifida and vestigial tails here. We mock, they say, because we care. But that doesn't make the film elevating or amusing. Torpor sticks to the actors' feet like gum on a movieplex floor. Will Hal make you laugh? Fat chance.