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SHOCKING
Russia considers banning SOUTH PARK. Beats what it did to Georgia
LANCE ARMSTRONG to attempt eighth Tour de France title and fifth look-alike girlfriend
STEPHEN COLBERT'S DNA to be shot into space
LONELYGIRL15 makes friends with MySpace, gets online show
MICKEY ROURKE wrestling film wins accolades at Venice Film Festival. Yes. Mickey Rourke
TORI SPELLING tops David Sedaris with New York Times No. 1 best seller. Her family is weirder
ASHTON KUTCHER coaching Los Angeles high school football. Right back where Demi Moore found him
O.J. SIMPSON trial, Version 2.0
PREDICTABLE
STEVE JOBS: Not dead yet
PAN'S LABYRINTH director Guillermo del Toro booked with monster-movie projects through 2017
GHOSTBUSTERS 3 in the works. Who ya gonna call? GUILLERMO DEL TORO!
MADONNA dedicates Like a Virgin to Pope. POPE dedicates You're Going to Hell (Remix) to Madonna
TOBEY MAGUIRE considering two more Spider-Man films, two more summerhouses
LINDSAY LOHAN turns down Playboy offer. Even she realizes we've seen enough
RENT closes on Broadway despite abundance of American Idol castoffs
Bickering CHRIS MATTHEWS and KEITH OLBERMANN removed from MSNBC election-night anchor chairs
KATY PERRY disses BRITNEY at MTV Awards, still wants to kiss her
SHOCKINGLY PREDICTABLE
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