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SHOCKING

PHISH to reunite. Hemp futures skyrocket

KIMBO SLICE knocked out in 14 seconds by THIS GUY

Lehman Brothers CEO DICK FULD knocked out at gym. Government refuses to help him up

Olympian MISTY MAY-TREANOR injured during Dancing with the Stars Lindy Hop. Should've gone with the jitterbug, Misty

Surprisingly nerdy LIL WAYNE ESPN blog: "I won my fantasy-football matchup this week, by the way."

PUTIN judo video out in Russia. The man is simply unstoppable

PREDICTABLE

ROSIE O'DONNELL to host variety show. Good, because we were getting worried about her

ANGELINA JOLIE gets new arm tattoos to honor newborns. Adds diapers to thigh grocery-list tattoo

BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA tops box office. That's on you, America

With typical restraint, China to air 50-part BRUCE LEE biography

JUDE LAW to play Watson to ROBERT DOWNEY JR.'S Holmes

Saturday Night Live's WEEKEND UPDATE to air on Thursdays until election. What, no 30 Rock?

CW Batman prequel to revolve around a young Robin. CHRIS O'DONNELL sadly traces eye wrinkles

Despite cast's best effort to get it canceled, ENTOURAGE renewed for sixth season

Nepotism alert! HELENA BONHAM CARTER to star in beau TIM BURTON'S film. Again

TINA FEY nabs lucrative book deal. Backlash beginning

SHOCKINGLY PREDICTABLE