Here Be Monsters

Silly paranoia? (Cue creepy music here.) Or key elements in "The Enemy's Secret Plan"? Both monsters do exist, I'd say, but are only about 2 ft. (0.6 m) tall, scared of the daylight and lacking particularly sharp claws. The FBI is looking at ACORN for a reason, and the phrase ballot suppression is not a term totally unheard of in GOP hallways. That said, both sides are by and large trying to do what is right, at least most of the time. New-voter registration is a good thing. Keeping a sharp eye out to prevent ballot fraud is also a good thing.

The truth is that in most elections, this clash of the monsters usually boils down to a pair of elderly women poll watchers--the one in the patterned sweater and sneakers is the Democrat, and the one with the rhinestone red-white-and-blue elephant pin and the sensible flats is the Republican--arguing over a few smudgy ballots in a couple of thousand precincts across America. Relax--our democracy will survive.

Of course, if real issues do arise this year, both sides have created huge armies of lawyers ready to pounce on any dubious county board of elections with cuff links flashing. That should be enough to scare away even the nastiest of election-year demons.

Murphy is a GOP political consultant and was senior strategist for Senator John McCain's 2000 presidential race