Older, Wiser And More Anxious

Last week, while enjoying my family's trademark Thanksgiving recipe of blessings and bickering, I looked around at the many older people in my large group of relations, and for the first time since Sept. 11, I wondered how they were really feeling. For the past several weeks much of our nation's concern has been focused on children--in my family, the attention tends to flow downward through the generations as if pulled by gravity.

But geriatric experts say they are seeing that the stresses many older people are already under--such as isolation, health problems and financial worries--have been aggravated by the domestic terrorist attacks, the war and the recession. Gene Cohen, a geriatric psychiatrist and author of The Creative Age, is midway through a retirement study of 100 people ages 60 to 89 and has detected in their lives new practical and emotional problems. Take the longer waits at airports because of security checks and the restrictions imposed on passengers during flights. "Can you imagine standing in line for two hours with arthritis, or having bladder problems and being told you can't use the bathroom during a shuttle flight?" Cohen asks. Older clients have also told him that their income from iras and pensions has taken a hit and they fear they will have to get part-time jobs to make ends meet. The death last week from anthrax of Ottilie Lundgren, a 94-year-old Connecticut woman, could increase anxiety among the elderly too. Lundgren, like some senior citizens, seldom left home and seemed to be out of harm's way.

Grace Lebow, co-director of Aging Network Services in Bethesda, Md., says requests for long-distance geriatric-care managers have tripled since Sept. 11: "Older clients have depended on their kids' coming in from long distances to check on them from time to time. Now people aren't traveling." Lebow has a 94-year-old client who says she is not sleeping well and feels more depressed, knowing that her family won't get to her for the holidays. She wonders if she will ever see them again.

Cohen points to studies showing that, unlike their younger family members, the elderly who suffer from stress are more likely to become ill. But families can help their aged relatives battle anxiety by keeping in close touch, asking pointed questions and getting help for them if necessary. Lebow suggests families buy greeting cards and send one a week to aging relatives, and encourage them to try e-mail (my mother has become an e-mail enthusiast). And the conversations about Sept. 11 can be rewarding for young and old: many people of the WW II generation report feeling that their life experiences are more relevant than ever in our post-9/11 world. Kids and grandkids are are bound to benefit from stories told by older relatives who have lived through hardships.

You can e-mail Amy at time family@aol.com.