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SHOCKING

SARAH PALIN to get $7 million book deal. Copy editors to demand half

SARKOZY and BUSH share terrorist fist jab

Tweens mob Times Square for final episode of MTV's TRL

MICHAEL JACKSON sued for $7 million for failing to release album

TYRA BANKS to give away sex-change operation. Oprah still has the better gifts

PAUL MCCARTNEY plans release of lost 14-minute Beatles track. It was 28 minutes, but Heather Mills got half

PREDICTABLE

SNL hires two new women. Maybe one can do a decent Obama imitation

Showtime mulls series of GAY SUPERHERO. As if there were any other kind

Nativity scene: BRITNEY SPEARS to headline Rockefeller Center Xmas-tree lighting

SACHA BARON COHEN infiltrates set of television's Medium. Best publicity ever for television's Medium

MILEY CYRUS not dead

PREGNANT MAN pregnant again

To show his range, SETH ROGEN to make porn-themed TV series

Spitzer call girl ASHLEY DUPRE says she's "just a normal girl," hopes Julia Roberts will play her in the movie

SNOOP DOGG appears on Martha Stewart. Hip-hop officially dead. But wait ...

... THE ROOTS named Jimmy Fallon's Late Night house band. Now it's dead

SHOCKINGLY PREDICTABLE