Cupcake Kings Go Global, With a Little Help From Joel

Illustration by John Ueland for TIME

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So Sprinkles agreed to give Freddy y Joel's $750 and a strawberry-cupcake recipe in exchange for regular reports on sales of that cupcake as well as a list of our three best-selling flavors. We agreed not to open a Freddy y Joel's in California, and in return Sprinkles would stay out of our section of Managua. Nelson will consult for Freddy y Joel's and serve on our board, and we will name our cupcake line Pedacitos, which may or may not mean sprinkles in Spanish. I told Nelson she could have 2% of the company if we go public on the Nicaraguan stock exchange. I did not, however, tell Freddy this or check to see if there's a Nicaraguan stock exchange, so Nelson shouldn't get too excited. Freddy did like the rest of the plan, though I needed, to my great surprise, to explain who Oprah Winfrey is. Once I did, though, he was right there with me. "Of course I think it's very cool that the American Cristina would be interested in this kind of product," he said.

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Now that Freddy y Joel's is thriving, I'm going to step back and let Freddy start baking at 5 a.m. and close his shop at 9 p.m., while I get involved with other loans in my portfolio. I'm also going to give kiva.org gift certificates to all my consultant and business-school friends, so they too can annoy hardworking people around the globe. By the end of next year, I predict the developing world will not only be economically thriving and significantly more diabetic but also regret ever getting involved with microloans.

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ROBB LEVIN, resident of Fairfax, Virginia, on the $15,000 lawsuit settlement made against Tareq and Michaele Salahi, the White House gate crashers, who are also involved in at least 15 other civil suits
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ROBB LEVIN, resident of Fairfax, Virginia, on the $15,000 lawsuit settlement made against Tareq and Michaele Salahi, the White House gate crashers, who are also involved in at least 15 other civil suits

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