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SHOCKING

OBAMA SPEECHWRITER gropes cardboard Hillary in Facebook pic

CHRISTIE HEFNER resigns as Playboy CEO. What, did she actually look at the magazine?

OPRAH falls off the skinny wagon

SPIKE LEE to debut musical at Sundance

TWILIGHT director won't return for sequel. But really, does it matter who directs this thing?

CNN magic-screen maestro JOHN KING to replace WOLF BLITZER on Sundays

KERMIT stars in music video for indie band LCD Soundsystem. Snap up Rowlf, Vampire Weekend

GOSSIP GIRL in spin-off talks. Give the maid her own show!

PREDICTABLE

STEPHEN COLBERT/KANYE WEST kerfuffle

COLDPLAY sued for plagiarism by Joe Satriani. And Radiohead, and U2, and ...

JULIAN SCHNABEL throws hissy fit on 60 Minutes. Take him out, Andy Rooney!

Hollywood is all out of bubblegum. THEY LIVE remake planned

Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve lineup: JONAS BROTHERS, TAYLOR SWIFT and LIONEL RICHIE. One of these things is not like the others

Less furious GRANDMASTER FLASH to release first album in decades. Now only slightly miffed

LENO at 10 p.m.: helping put America to sleep even earlier

LILY ALLEN takes temporary hiatus from boozing. At least until that New Year's party

SHOCKINGLY PREDICTABLE