Blago Talks! (And Talks ...)

It is somehow perfect that Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich would begin his media self-justification-and-jury-pool-influence tour at the same time that American Idol has returned to TV. Like the bad auditioners who spring anew from city and heartland every winter, Blago inspires the same questions every time he opens his mouth: Does he really have no idea how he sounds to other people? It's gotta be an act, right?

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As with an Idol auditioner, it is impossible to know. But the man who did more than a dozen TV interviews--saying he was doing it for his kids, for our kids, for the needy, for justice--seemed to mean it. On Good Morning America, he admitted having considered Oprah Winfrey for the Illinois Senate seat. On Today, he likened himself to a Frank Capra hero and said his arrest was like those of Mandela, M.L.K. and Gandhi. On The View, he said the Mandela-M.L.K.-Gandhi comparison had been taken "out of context," as had his recorded vow to get something for President Obama's "f______ valuable" Senate seat. (See pictures of Rod Blagojevich.)

"The fix is in" and "out of context"--Blago repeated the phrases like Hail Marys on a rosary. Of course, he was not at liberty to give the context. But like a flailing Idol candidate, he insisted he couldn't be judged by his lines. His throat was dry! The judges hated him! If only he could start over, sing it all--the whole song!--Americans would see why he was their Idol.

Like a singer egged on by Simon and Randy, Blago had his own enablers goading him to take one more stab at "Bohemian Rhapsody." When he fled his Springfield impeachment for Manhattan, TV producers had only to book him, mike him and watch their good fortune unfold.

For the political media, Blago has been a gift, an outlet for every brand of cynicism that we are otherwise not allowed to express in the Era of Hope. You can lecture Blagojevich, hound him, mock him without offense. He is America's most unifying politician: a figure we can all get behind (to kick), in a good old-fashioned influence-peddling scandal.

But not too old-fashioned. Blago seems less an old Chicago-machine boss than a distinct 21st century character: the American with Too Much Self-Esteem.

You've seen this figure on countless reality shows, smiling, un-put-downable, oblivious to his flaws. (He dared investigators to tape him--so far, so Gary Hart--then raved on tape like a reality cast member who forgets the cameras are rolling.) He's the obnoxious dating-show contestant certain he can charm his way into viewers' hearts at the reunion special. He's the Big Brother housemate who cheats on his girlfriend on camera but hopes that she, and America, will see it was just the editing. He's bumbling Michael Scott, of the reality-show-in-a-sitcom The Office: modeling himself after movie characters, armed with a thousand rationalizations, convinced that he's the world's best boss. Because it says so, right there on his coffee mug.

We are all born solipsists; we begin life thinking that our perceptions define reality. Gradually we learn perspective: that there's a difference between how we see ourselves and how others perceive us. Since the invention of recording media, nearly every child has gone through a ritual unsettling demonstration of the gap between ideal self and actual self: hearing what your voice sounds like on tape. Play a kid's voice back to him for the first time and his reaction will probably be, "That's not me. I know what I sound like."

Eventually most of us come to accept that, no, we don't know. But now there are books, talk shows and self-help systems dedicated to unlearning that lesson. The Secret became a best seller by telling people that their attitudes and perceptions create reality. If you dream it, you can be it. If people say you can't sing--they're wrong. The true voice is the one you hear inside your head. Your mouth is not lying. Their ears are.

It's a lonely certainty, especially when reality and prosecutors' audiotapes insist on contradicting it. And puncturing it makes compelling, if excruciating, TV. Thus CNN's Larry King capped off his interview by showing Blago a reel of late-night comics making fun of his deeds and his hair. Blagojevich watched, a grin frozen on his face, as SNL's Amy Poehler taunted, "The first time I saw you, I thought you were walking away!"

But if being confronted with how others see and hear him shook the governor, it didn't last. He ended his media tour as he began, with a salesman's smile and an Idol rejectee's confidence. We would all know his true heart someday, he assured us. All we need is to hear his words in complete context. That may never be possible, however. Not until they invent a microphone that can record what it sounds like inside Rod Blagojevich's head.

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