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SHOCKING
MATT LAUER--deer collision produces mythological Lauer-Man
Cast of BATTLESTAR GALACTICA debates wartime ethics at U.N.
DAVID LETTERMAN weds. Jimmy Kimmel still available
Rome plans ANCIENT ROME theme park. Get ready for Crucifixion Cove
ANNE HATHAWAY to play Judy Garland
ROSEANNE mulls return to sitcom TV. May we suggest a timely show about an economically depressed blue collar family?
Merman film on tap. Yes, Hollywood's down to recycling jokes from ZOOLANDER
LINDSAY LOHAN slowly realizing that no one wants to hire her
PREDICTABLE
Impatient OBAMA signs postpresidential book deal
PHIL SPECTOR'S hair just won't quit!
Bored BUSH signs "I got nothing else to do" book deal
SMASHING PUMPKINS lose drummer for, like, the third time
KIEFER SUTHERLAND to enter eighth season, second week of 24
STEPHEN COLBERT continues endless campaign to have everything named after him--this time a room in the space station
HARRISON FORD and CALISTA FLOCKHART get engaged
LANCE ARMSTRONG breaks up with his collarbone
SHOCKINGLY PREDICTABLE
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