SHOCKING
Things get crazy at BARBARA BUSH'S 84th birthday party
Man jailed for ripping off Taiwanese minister's TOUPEE. Donald Trump should sue whoever's forcing him to keep his on
BRET MICHAELS flattened by Tony Awards scenery. Breaks nose, dignity
In Iraq, STEPHEN COLBERT has his head shaved by General RAY ODIERNO
Despite lack of parrots and eye patches, SWEDEN'S PIRATE PARTY wins an E.U. Parliament seat
ZACK MORRIS agrees to Saved by the Bell reunion. We're so excited! (And so scared)
Wales sets world record for most people dressed as SMURFS
MISS CALIFORNIA is opposite-hired
Fox's I MARRIED A STRANGER weds people who have never met. Yeah, that'll work
PREDICTABLE
NICK AT NITE picks up Malcolm in the Middle, starting least-retro war with VH1's I Love the New Millennium
Little Tikes COZY COUPE outsells every other car model in America
Bend it like Ahmadinejad: IRAN and NORTH KOREA draw 0-0 in World Cup qualifier
Supreme Court nominee SONIA SOTOMAYOR breaks ethnic barriers, ankle
City of Boston has spent two years and $300,000 on a PUBLIC TOILET that isn't ready yet
MADONNA adds another child to her collection
17-YEAR-OLD arrested for smoking a joint while giving a presentation on why pot should be legalized
ADAM LAMBERT admits he went to Burning Man. Oh--and that he's gay
SHOCKINGLY PREDICTABLE