People

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THE STAR Jennifer Lopez

WHY HER? Actually, her sister Lynda will do most of the hosting, with J. Lo making cameos

CHAT CHANCE It's so crazy, it just might work. Think of it as The View, but with bling

THE STAR Ellen DeGeneres

WHY HER? She's smart and funny. But sponsors may not want a Gay Leno

CHAT CHANCE It's currently hip to be queer, and before she came out, she did play straight

THE STAR Britney Spears

WHY HER? She has a bubbly personality and plenty of fans. Ooh, and a midriff

CHAT CHANCE Oops. She'll be racing Chevy Chase for the land speed cancellation record

THE STAR Sharon Osbourne

WHY HER? She's tough, and she speaks her mind

CHAT CHANCE Unlikely, but hey — she survived cancer. And Ozzy

Twilight of the Idol
Oh, where did it all go wrong? A few weeks ago supersize American Idol champ RUBEN STUDDARD was living large. The man had his own teddy bear! But soon runner-up Clay Aiken's single started outpacing Studdard's on the charts, and now the portly pop star is getting into it with 205 Flava, makers of his signature shirts. Studdard sued the company for using his image to sell clothes, but 205 (it's the area code for Birmingham, Ala., Studdard's hometown) promptly dialed it up a notch, claiming that it paid Studdard to wear its clothes on TV — a violation of Idol rules. It's almost enough to make you miss Justin Guarini. Almost.

FIRST LOOK
I'M SURE I PARKED HERE SOMEWHERE

This much we know about enigmatic auteur Tim Burton's movie Big Fish, which opens Thanksgiving weekend: it contains a car, a tree and EWAN MCGREGOR. The plot revolves around an old man (Albert Finney) who tells tall tales about himself as a younger man (that would be McGregor), but little else is clear. Is it a fairy tale? "I always like a mixture of all of those elements — funny, sad, real, unreal, all together," says Burton. "I find that's the most accurate description of how I feel every day." Fair enough. So is it a comedy? "I prefer not to say, just in case it's not funny. Then you can say it's a drama."