Making a Big Move

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Carol did all the right things that one does to become part of a community. She joined a church, took classes and became involved in volunteer activities. "Today we have friends here, but we don't have a history with these people," says Carol. "It's good, but it's different."

It seems that now, seven years into the move, Carol and Bob have overcome the difficulties of the initial transition. They're comfortably Southern and delighted with their roles as nearby parents and grandparents. "The best part is seeing the results of our parenting as we watch our son in his role as parent," says Carol. "It's a feeling of continuity."

The Dixons have had such a turn of heart about the experience that they might just repeat it. A few months ago their daughter and son-in-law, who live in California, had their first child. "We're considering a move to the West Coast," says Carol.

Inevitably, a few folks can't adjust and move back to their original community. But the overwhelming majority deal with the challenges and revel in the rewards. As for the Schweitzers, the move has been "a grand adventure." Soon after they settled into their new house, their son and daughter-in-law had a second child and found a more suitable home, which was, coincidentally, right next door to Linda and Bill. Their lives are anything but a rough replica of Everybody Loves Raymond. "We rarely see them more than once a week," Linda says. "My son is a busy man. He has a family, a wife, a business. I don't expect him to sit down and talk to Mom all the time. I don't expect to be included in everything they do."

But they are included in many things — some planned, some not. "Our life is balanced now," says Linda. "We've met new people, we've got new jobs, we're exploring a new area, and we're near our family. I look at myself in the mirror, and no, I'm not 21, but I feel young and alive and grateful for the joy of every day. It's been everything I dreamed it would be and then some."