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AN STYLE='font-size: 100%; color: #990000; font-weight: bold; '>Going Platinum
If there's no p.r. trick powerful enough to spin away a blunder (a drunken wedding in Las Vegas, say), try hiring photographer David LaChapelle to dress you up and transform you into someone else completely (Jean Harlow, say). To promote BRITNEY SPEARS' upcoming concert tour, which will air on Showtime, the cable channel commissioned a glamorous new portrait of the singer — very demure, very classy. Next hurdle: getting people to believe it's Britney.

Is Blue Suede Back in Style?
Runways are often plied by rock stars' offspring — Liv Tyler, Elizabeth Jagger, Alexandra Richards — who fortunately look little like their grizzled dads. Enter the next generation: RILEY KEOUGH, 14, daughter of LISA MARIE PRESLEY, right, and granddaughter of Elvis, who is making her modeling debut this month in Milan. She has the King's face; let's hope she also has the swing of his hips.

When Jay-Z Met The Fab Four
Recently, L.A.-based DJ Brian Burton (a.k.a. Danger Mouse) had an inspiration: Why not remix the vocals off JAY-Z'S 2003 Black Album with sampled tracks from the 1968 BEATLES' LP known as The White Album? Says Burton: "Once I started on it, I got obsessed." Presto: The Grey Album. Burton initially sent the record — made without the artists' permission — to a few friends and music-industry types, but it found its way onto the Web and became an underground sensation. Hits on Burton's website went from 30 a day to 11,000, and he distributed an extra 3,000 CDs, many to independent record stores, hoping to recoup some costs. No go. EMI Group, which releases the Beatles' recordings, ordered him to stop. So we've finally come to this: illegal downloads of illegal music.

Fake an Orgasm, Fend Off a Rabbit
In the international commerce of comedy, this qualifies as fair trade. Last week the Brits appropriated a couple of all-American icons — persnickety Sally Albright and her friend Harry Burns — when the stage play of Rob Reiner's 1989 classic When Harry Met Sally opened in London's West End, with American Pie co-star ALYSON HANNIGAN and Beverly Hills, 90210 alumnus LUKE PERRY. Next spring Americans will get their return when the musical version of Monty Python and the Holy Grail debuts on Broadway. The show will be called Spamalot. Say no more.