People

AN STYLE='font-size: 100%; color: #990000; font-weight: bold; '>Airport Rage?
Maybe after all that sweatin', RICHARD SIMMONS doesn't know his own strength. After a fellow traveler spied the frizzy-haired fitness guru at a Phoenix, Ariz., airport last week and shouted, "Hey, everybody, it's Richard Simmons. Let's drop our bags and rock to the '50s," Simmons allegedly slapped the heckler and was cited for assault. An "emotional" Simmons said the slap was merely playful, according to the police report. "It's not nice to make fun of people with issues," Simmons reportedly said to the victim. O.K., then, we won't.

Love Mission: Impossible
It's shocking but true: homonymic surnames and equal doses of hotness are not enough to keep a couple together in Hollywood these days. To the surprise of no one who ever saw the stiff pair march down the red carpet, TOM CRUISE and his girlfriend of three years, Spanish beauty PENELOPE CRUZ, have broken up. The duo, who met on the set of 2001's Vanilla Sky while Cruise was married to Nicole Kidman, still "talk all the time," his rep says. But their relationship was strained by the constant travel their filming schedules required, says her spokesman. Cruise recently dropped another leading lady in his life, his power publicist of 14 years, Pat Kingsley. Luckily for Cruz and Kingsley, the Last Samurai star's exes tend to land on their feet. Oscar winner Kidman will now lead us all in a round of I Will Survive.

Wonks For 100, Alex
Jeopardy! just announced the competitors in a celebrity "power players" episode airing in May. Which political figures and journalists will be as smart as they think they are?

ASHLEIGH BANFIELD
ODDS 7 to 1

THE GOOD After reporting from war-torn regions, this former MSNBC anchor should do well on geography questions

THE BAD She has spent some time as a blond

ARI FLEISCHER
ODDS 4 TO 1

THE GOOD The former White House press secretary has plenty of experience behind lecterns

THE BAD No matter how good the spin, wrong answers won't become right

AL FRANKEN
ODDS 3 TO 1

THE GOOD The comedian is good enough, is smart enough, and, doggone it, some people like him

THE BAD Under stress, may attempt to tackle the host

CHRISTIE TODD WHITMAN
ODDS 2 TO 1

THE GOOD It took real smarts to become the first female Governor of New Jersey and the head of the EPA

THE BAD Not actually a descendant of Walt

Usher's Baby Blues
Britney had the kiss. Janet, the nipple. And now, proving guys too aren't above exploiting a sexy scandal to sell some records, USHER has a love child. Or doesn't. Lyrics on the buff R.-and-B. star's new album, Confessions, are fueling gossip that his recent split from his girlfriend Chilli, of the band TLC, was caused by another woman's carrying Usher's baby. "My chick on the side said she got one on the way," the hip-hop heartthrob croons on the CD. Usher's publicist insists there is no baby and denies speculation that the controversy was hatched to whip up publicity. Stunt or not, Usher is expected to deliver Confessions to No. 1 on the Billboard chart this week. We're sure he's a proud papa.