People

AN STYLE='font-size: 100%; color: #990000; font-weight: bold; '>Hey, Mr. Lingerie Man
Do not adjust your screens. That dark chap crooning beside a bosomy, winged model in a Venetian palazzo in a new Victoria's Secret commercial is Bob Dylan. The counterculture bard who once sang of "Advertising signs that con you" is now a TV pitchman. Recruited for his "confidence and gravitas," according to a Victoria's Secret spokesman, Dylan plays his 1997 song Love Sick in the spot (in which, coincidentally, parts of models seem to defy gravitas). His record label called the ad "a great way to reach people with Bob's music." It's also a great way to hang out with lingerie models. We suspect Rod Stewart is already dialing his agent.

Sleeper Hit
Forget gas prices and the war. A drowsy 13-year-old is the campaign story consuming the Beltway. A Late Show with David Letterman segment called "George W. Bush Invigorates America's Youth," which aired last week, showed TYLER CROTTY, the son of a Bush donor, fidgeting, yawning and checking his watch as the President gave a lengthy speech in Orlando, Fla., last month. CNN reported — incorrectly — that the White House claimed Crotty had been edited into the video. Letterman denied the tape was doctored, CNN apologized, and the White House (which apparently hasn't enough to do) helped put Crotty on the show. He proved to be a good Bushie after all, saying he was too excited about seeing the President to get much sleep the night before the speech.

Who Will Shine As The Perfect Pearl?
With two Janis Joplin biopics in the works, nobody plans to move Over.

Pink
OCCUPATION: Frequently Missundaztood singer of scrappy pop tunes

HER FILM: The Gospel According to Janis

BEST ASSET: Lungs. She will actually sing Joplin's songs. Plus she already has crazy messed-up hair

BIGGEST LIABILITY: Not really known for acting — unless you count Pepsi commercials

Renee Zellweger
OCCUPATION: Frequently honored portrayer of scrappy gals in movies like Cold Mountain and Chicago

HER FILM: Piece of My Heart

BEST ASSET: Demographics. People old enough to remember Joplin have already heard of Zellweger

BIGGEST LIABILITY: Not really known for proximity to sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll