People

What About Bob?
As if appearing in the tabs in your onesie weren't humiliation enough, celebrity babies have lately been enduring more lasting indignities. In naming her newborn daughter Apple, GWYNETH PALTROW joined a host of stars saddling their children with quirky monikers. Geena Davis has just given birth to twin boys Kian and Kaiis, Helen Hunt bore girl MaKena lei Gordon, Rachel Griffiths christened a son Banjo Patrick, Jason Lee had boy Pilot Inspektor, and Cedric the Entertainer welcomed daughter Lucky Rose. And the august-sounding Roman appears to be the new Jack — Cate Blanchett and Debra Messing chose it for their sons this year. How will Mary-Louise Parker's son ever be able to hold his head up at celebrity day care? He got saddled with William.

Bush Vs. Kerry: The Daughters
Barbara and Jenna Bush
Best shot at NASCAR-dad vote: Just graduating from college, the President's feisty twins plan to appear in Vogue (they're hot!), volunteer with kids (they're do-gooders!) and campaign (they love Dad!).

Best boost to young male turnout: The twins' attempts to score booze while under age conjure up the reckless fun of Dubya in his frat-house days.

Alex and Vanessa Kerry
Best shot at soccer-mom vote: Already stumping for their Dem-contender pop (they're loyal!), Alex directs films (she's creative!) and Vanessa attends Harvard Medical School (a smarty!).

Best boost to young male turnout: Alex's red-carpet turn in a see-through dress at the Cannes Film Festival sexes up Dad's stodgy image.