People

AN STYLE='font-size: 100%; color: #990000; font-weight: bold; '>There She Isn't
Baton-twirling fans, brace yourselves. Faced with dwindling ratings, the Miss America pageant has cut the talent competition from its telecast this year. Instead of the live performances that have set the pageant apart from other beauty contests since 1954, next month's broadcast will show a quickie taped montage of talent routines from earlier in the week. The move angered some former Miss Americas, including GRETCHEN CARLSON, who played the violin in 1989 and now is a host of CBS's Saturday Early Show. "It's like somebody training for the Olympics, putting in all that time and commitment, and finding out that their race doesn't exist anymore," Carlson says. On the upside, finalists can really study for the swimsuit competition.

Intolerable Cruelty Via Mail
All that was missing was a boiled bunny when CATHERINE ZETA-JONES testified in a Los Angeles courtroom last week in an apparent real-life case of fatal attraction. At a preliminary hearing, the Chicago star read aloud from letters sent by her alleged stalker, Dawnette Knight. One note promised "to slice her up like meat on a bone and feed her to the dogs." Another included a mock obituary for the Welsh actress, who is married to her Traffic castmate Michael Douglas. The letters left the actress "hysterical," her husband testified. Knight, says her lawyer, sent them because she harbored a crush on Douglas and was upset by a tabloid story claiming that Zeta-Jones was cheating on him. After facing the couple in court, Knight took sleeping pills in her jail cell and had to be hospitalized. A judge has ordered her to undergo a psychological evaluation before resuming the hearing.

Beijing's Bubba Book
Is it a left-wing conspiracy? According to an unauthorized translation of BILL CLINTON'S memoir, My Life, now on sale in China, the former President turned to Chinese sages for guidance at critical moments in his life. As a student, the pirated book says, Clinton so admired MAO ZEDONG that he applied for a visa to visit China. While Governor, Clinton relied on the economic theories of Deng Xiaoping to "give Arkansas a chance to catch up" to the rest of the U.S. Chinese readers may not realize the translation is not exactly faithful. Or they may be buying the phony book for the same reason Americans are snapping up the real one — to skip to the (also enhanced) parts about Monica.

The Politics Behind the Popcorn
What with political films like Fahrenheit 9/11 and The Manchurian Candidate, in which Denzel Washington tries to unravel a plot by a Halliburton-esque military conglomerate, even fluffy summer entertainment is starting to look a lot like a political statement

I, ROBOT
Robots try to restrict freedom to protect humanity in this futuristic thriller based on Isaac Asimov's stories. Audiences can watch it as an escapist Will Smith summer flick — or an allegory about the USA Patriot Act

THE VILLAGE
In filmmaker M. Night Shyamalan's spooky tale of a 19th century agrarian community with Bryce Dallas Howard, the elders (read: Bush?) use a color-coded warning system to keep the populace in a state of fear

THE FROGS
In this update of Greek theater via Stephen Sondheim in New York City, Nathan Lane battles a "Bully Bush Frog"--a creature that "makes pre-emptive strikes and forgets why it attacked in the first place"