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hought I might have been listed in my aunt's will with some small remembrance (not any financial gift). We have no other close relatives — she was widowed and never had children. She used to write to me until we fell out of touch. But I know she moved from Florida to New Jersey, where she was in a nursing home. I heard that she died in 1998. Can state records — like her will — be looked at by a computer novice like me? It has haunted me for years that she died and I don't know her last wishes.--Name withheld, Castle Rock, Colo.

Of course you'd like to know that your aunt thought of you at the end. Having some small bequest would affirm your feeling of connection to her and might help you gain closure.

Unfortunately, you might also find yourself on a fruitless journey. If your aunt made a will and it was probated (recognized as official by the court), says Dennis Belcher, past chair of the American Bar Association section on probate law, most states would have required all heirs to be notified within 120 days.

If you believe you could not have been easily located, you can search for her will. It could have been probated either in Florida, which might have remained her legal domicile, or in New Jersey, where she probably resided when she died. Very few wills are available online. (A debate is raging in legal circles about the wisdom of making such data easily available and thus more vulnerable to criminal misuse.) One exception is Camden County, N.J., where a pilot program permits you to do a computer search for a will.

For all other counties in New Jersey, call the court clerk and explain your quest. Also call the clerk of the Florida circuit court covering the county where your aunt last lived. Be sure to ask whether she deposited a will; in Florida many people opt to deposit a will with the court, and many never reach probate.

If no close relatives were nearby the nursing home when your aunt died, a will might not have been previously found. "Someone had to know there was a will," says Steve Burkett, an attorney in elder law and estate planning in Cherry Hill, N.J., who believes many such wills never surface.

It's possible that you'll get lucky. Probably, though, you'll spend a lot of time and effort trying to learn what is essentially unknowable — your aunt's intentions and feelings toward you. You might take comfort from what you do know. Your aunt kept writing to you for years, possibly as long as she was able. The connection between you must have meant a lot to her too.

The sad lesson is that if you have a dear old auntie — whether she's rich or poor — it's best, despite our busy lives, to keep in touch. Because death can intervene at any time and put her — and her last wishes — forever out of reach.

Send questions to Francine at time.com/askfrancine