Performances Of The Week

Sunday, Aug. 08, 2004
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Iowa may have only seven electoral votes, but in a tight contest, it's an important battleground. (Al Gore won the state in 2000 by less than 1%.) So residents of Davenport were hardly fazed when PRESIDENT BUSH and JOHN KERRY showed up for rallies on the same day, just blocks apart. The crooks in town weren't fazed either. With the cops preoccupied, three banks were robbed.

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"This is a political move ... The president should boycott Copenhagen."
SARAH PALIN, writing in an Op-Ed in the Washington Post, on the ongoing climate-change conference President Obama is scheduled to attend; Palin came under fire from critics for slamming the long-awaited conference that many hope brings global-warming action
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