Funerals Are Us

• Share

Kim Leevers and her four siblings all had their own ideas about the type of funeral they wanted for their mother, June, who died of cancer a few months ago. But on at least one point they were unanimous: the service would have no religious content. Even years ago, when the children were attending Sunday school, Leevers sensed her mother was less than devout: "She used just to drop us and leave." So on her passing they chose Sydney celebrant John Hill to conduct the service, which featured speeches from June's two sons, a song from one of her granddaughters, many references to her great passion - gardening - and none to God. About 100 people attended the service. "And many of them told us how wonderful they thought it was," says Leevers. "We know Mum would have approved."

Civil funerals aren't new. They've been happening in Australia since the mid 1970s and for almost as long in New Zealand. But the proportion of people choosing them is growing fast. Acknowledging "a massive cultural shift" toward secularity in urban Australia, the Anglican Bishop of South Sydney, Rob Forsyth, predicts secular and religious funerals "will eventually reach a point of equilibrium." While that's probably some years away in most Australian and New Zealand cities and not even close in the bush, celebrants in the more liberal centers of Melbourne and Auckland already conduct substantially more than half of the funerals. And services themselves are evolving as celebrants and the public grapple with a question: what, precisely, is the purpose of a non-religious funeral? Adhering to Judeo-Christian principles, funerals in both countries used to be predictable. Between prayers and hymns, a clergyman spoke briefly about the departed before commending his or her soul to God. Change flowed from the secularizing of another rite of passage: weddings. Troubled that the only option available to couples who didn't wish to marry in a church was a legalistic ceremony performed by a pokerfaced official in a registry office, Australian Attorney-General Lionel Murphy in 1973 launched the Civil Marriage Celebrant Program, which soon gave couples the option of a personalized service. Officiating at funerals was a natural progression for many celebrants, of whom there are now more than 1,800 in Australia and nearly as many in New Zealand. "We're leading a process of change," says Wellington-based celebrant Bill Logan. "We're guiding people toward better relationships with death and with the memories of loved ones who've died."

By making the deceased the focus instead of God, and concentrating on the earthly life at the expense of the afterlife, civil funerals distinguished themselves from traditional ones right away. Over time the differences became more numerous, and if there are fewer today it's because clergy have adopted some of the celebrants' practices, such as longer, more personalized eulogies and multiple tributes from family and friends. While Australia and New Zealand remain the only countries where celebrancy has a firm foothold, fledgling movements have also arisen in the U.S. and Britain. "Funerals are in a state of flux," says Melbourne celebrant Dally Messenger, a movement pioneer. "Clergy have responded to the stimulus of competition. In my opinion, the best funerals in the world happen in Melbourne."