Foreign News: The Roof Leaks in Burma

Heavily laden with gifts ranging from a coconut-shell lampshade to a baby tiger, the roving Communists flew on to Burma. At roughly the same moment, Communist insurgents in the Burmese city of May-myo were busy kidnaping two doctors of the World Health Organization.

The Burmese reception differed considerably from India's. Despite a government offer of 5¢ to each flag-waving child, comparatively few Burmans turned out to greet the visitors. Those who did (100,000, more or less) showed up in organized groups and sat stolidly on curbs or campstools in bemused curiosity, whooping it up with impromptu jig steps only when Russian cameras were on them. But despite a rigidly observed Buddhist teetotalism at all official functions and banquets, the visitors struggled manfully to display their vaunted ebullience. At Rangoon's town hall, Comrades Khrushchev, Bulganin and Burma's Premier U Nu all joined hands together and beamed for a battery of photographers. "World tensions," said the Burmese Premier, "have been reduced by your efforts."

Red, White & Black. Soon afterward, in his own inimitable way, at a visit to the 2,500-year-old gilded Shwe Dagon, peace-loving Nikita Khrushchev was busily easing world tensions once again. "The oldest British church," he sneered, eying the Burmese shrine, "is only 1,000 years old, yet the British call you barbarians." Then, recalling the recent unpleasantness about Moscow Chief Architect Vlasov, who was blasted by his government while visiting the U.S., he singled out another Russian architect in Rangoon to cry, "Look out, comrade, I see you are standing with American and French reporters. They may try to persuade you to stay with the West as the stupid Americans and stupid Frenchmen tried to do with Architect Vlasov."

"The time will come," continued Khrushchev, turning his attention to a French news-agency reporter in the crowd, "when some people will be ashamed of their stupidity, and when a person is ashamed, he turns red." "I'd rather stay white," snapped the reporter. "You can be black if you wish," said Khrushchev. After that, the Burmese government ordered all reporters to keep their distance "so that our honored guests will not be provoked into making statements."

From the Golden Pagoda, the tourists drove on to visit the cave where, according to a dream Premier U Nu had two years ago, Buddha once dwelt. No cave existed there, so U Nu ordered one made. "The roof leaks," commented Comrade Khrushchev. "You should visit our Moscow subway. You will find it dry because we built it properly."

Paddles & Policemen. Next day, on the road to Shan States, Burmans lined up once again to eye the visitors in expressionless curiosity. Here and there, well-drilled schoolchildren called out a greeting: "Bulganin, Khrushchev, mar bar sai!" (Long live Bulganin and Khrushchev). At one point, after the party had passed, a Western reporter decided to experiment: "John Foster Dulles!" he prompted the kids. "Doolis, mar bar sai!" they sang out obediently.