National Affairs: Mud-Slinger v. Rats

A more-than-six-foot 200-pounder stood upon the stage of the Four Cohans' Theatre in Chicago last week. His paunch heaved like a vexed hippo's, his ham of a hand smote the air, his flabby face howled. Technically, he was no vaudeville actor; he was William Hale Thompson, candidate for Mayor of Chicago. Yelled he: "I wanta make the King of England keep his blasted snoot out of America. . . . This is the issue of the campaign [he draped the Stars and Stripes over his arm]. What was good enough for Washington is good enough for me. In the face of an issue such as this, the only issue for a true American, do you folks wanta re-elect your present Mayor.* Do yuh? Do yuh? If you don't look out all history books are going to be full of things belittling George Washington. They're teaching un-Americanism. And if you elect me I'll fire out the whole' blasted caboodle, including King George of England. That's what Big Bill will do."

Taking a gulp of water, Candidate Thompson continued: "I'm no mudslinger. All I'll say about Ed Litsinger is that he is the biggest liar that was ever a candidate for Mayor in any city in the world."

Messrs. Thompson, Litsinger and Dr. John Dill Robertson are battling for the Republican nomination for Mayor. One of Mr. Thompson's campaign tricks is to reveal at political meetings a bird cage containing two housebroken rats. He calls them "Dill" and "Fred," in honor of Dr. Robertson and Fred Lundin. "What the hell do I care for Lundin? He's a dirty rat!" cried Candidate Thompson. "He is grooming this other rat, Robertson. He's the scum of the earth." It will be remembered that "Rat" Lundin helped make Mr. Thompson Mayor of Chicago many years ago, and that Mr. Thompson made "Rat" Robertson his Commissioner of Health. Anything is possible in Chicago politics. Mr. Thompson is even asking for votes on the grounds that he will not interfere with saloons and not arrest "decent citizens for minor infractions of the dry laws."

Many Chicagoans do not care who is nominated by the Republican party this month. They have agreed to hope that Mayor Dever, Democrat, will be re-elected in April. He, at least, has not called or been called a rat or a liar.