CANADA: Mitch

(See front cover)

The mighty Province which has more people, grows more food and manufactures more products than any other in Canada is fabulous Ontario—chiefly famed abroad for the Dionne Quintuplets. It is exactly 1,000 miles long by 1,050 miles wide—so big that the five States of New York, Ohio, Michigan, Wisconsin and Minnesota string the length of its southern border. Three years ago strapping, vigorous Ontario started taking the orders of a chubby, double-chinned, deep-dimpled, dynamic man she calls "Mitch." Two years ago he left her suddenly for Florida, announcing "I will retire from public life! There is no chance of my changing my mind." However, when the remaining kidney which had thus sent the Hon. Mitchell ("Mitch") Frederick Hepburn flying so suddenly south was cured, he rejoiced with gusto that he had never, even in his most discouraged hours, resigned as Premier of Ontario and with whoops of redoubled vigor tore back to Toronto.

Last week "Mitch" Hepburn had decided to jerk himself up by mighty tugs at the provincial bootstraps of Ontario to the Premiership of all Canada. As a build-up for this, the Premier had deliberately provoked a provincial election which he need never have to fight and was hell-bent to win it Oct. 6. With chances heavily favoring "Mitch," last week Canadian wiseacres agreed that a victory for Liberal Premier Hepburn must severely shake the position and prestige of Canada's Prime Minister William Lyon Mackenzie King. Although both are still nominally Liberals, Hepburn and King have broken violently, thus threatening to split Canada's majority party wide open at the next Federal election, and this week the provincial election show which "Mitch" was putting on fascinated not only Canada but the U. S., for Premier Hepburn is a vehement critic of President Roosevelt. At the age of 3. according to his fond mother, "Mitch" clutched her apron strings and crowed: "I want to be a politician!"