CRIME: Waukegan Wisecracker

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Born to a Waukegan, Ill. clothing merchant on St. Valentine's Day 45 years ago, Benjamin Kubelsky was thrown out of his school orchestra, where he played the violin, for making a wisecrack about the conductor. At 16, he was expelled from Waukegan High School for making one wisecrack too many about the principal. In vaudeville and on the radio wisecracking Benjamin Kubelsky, renamed Jack Benny, fared better. In 1937 Waukegan planted beside its city hall a Jack Benny Elm. This year Jack Benny's radio program, outranked in popularity only by that of wooden Charlie McCarthy, will gross him some $390,000.

Last week Waukegan's gift to the U. S. stood in a Federal courtroom in Manhattan. It was guilty by its own admission of cheating the Government of $700, in duty on trinkets for its wife which had been smuggled into the U. S. by notorious Albert N. Chaperau (TIME, Dec. 19, et seq.). Before pronouncing sentence, Federal Judge Vincent Leibell remarked:

"You must feel very much ashamed of yourself, Mr. Benny, standing here as you do today."

"I do," murmured Benjamin Kubelsky, flushing.

"I think," continued Judge Leibell, "it was a very poor return from you to the Government and the citizens of this country who have made so much of you and so much for you, to do something like this." Then as the speechless prisoner paled, reddened, kneaded his fingers, the judge proceeded in the same vein to give him such a tongue-lashing as modern courtrooms seldom hear. Not until half an hour later did Judge Leibell conclude: "It was mighty small of you, and I think you were letting down your country."

Then he fined Benjamin Kubelsky $10,000, imposed a suspended sentence of a year and a day, let him slink from the courtroom.