CIVILIAN DEFENSE: Be Prepared

The mock disaster was sprung on a Sunday afternoon.

Civilian-defense authorities decided that Sector 21, a residential area in Syracuse's southwest corner, had been heavily bombed. Boy Scouts were designated as wounded persons; each wore a card listing specific injuries. Ladies of the motor corps of Syracuse's Red Cross chapter bustled around, read the cards, applied appropriate first aid. From one front porch came blood-curdling screams and moans, persisting for a flat 30 seconds. Interested spectators noted that the Boy Scout who sirened these yells then retired to the back of the porch, consulted two fellow Scouts over a wristwatch. At regular five-minute intervals he returned to the porch railing to cut loose again with 30 seconds of human scream-bombing. The first-aid ladies found him handily— he could be heard for blocks. When one formally asked the nature of his injury, he solemnly recited: "Pregnant woman, with pains five minutes apart."

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MARTHA STEWART, when asked about the insider-trading scandal that, by her estimates, cost her company more than a billion dollars

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