Army & Navy: Mortar Man
"How old is Sergeant Diamond? Why, my boy, he has been in the Marines ever since they were started in 1775."
Master Gunnery Sergeant Lou Diamond is not 167 years old, but the oldest generals cannot remember when the Marines' famed mortar expert was not somewhere around. Lou Diamond's age is a secret between him and his service-record book, but his friends remember his pitching a one-hit game for the Quantico Marines many years ago, when he must have been at least 50. He rested on that feat, never pitched again.
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