Science: Path of Progress

Inventions recently registered with the U.S. Patent Office: <

¶Detachable pants pockets (unbutton them and send them to the laundry).

¶ A nail polish drier (finger is inserted, nail dried by a blast of air).

¶ Spectacle frames with earpieces decorated in bird and fish designs.

¶ An airplane wing which can be jettisoned and used as a life raft.

Other inventions announced last week: ¶ A fluorescent carpet for dark hallways, with a border which glows under "black" (ultraviolet) light, and is inscribed with such luminous warnings as: "four steps down at exit." ¶ Vitamin-enriched wine (vitamin-enriched beer is an old story; whiskey has not yet been enriched). The vitamins not only give drinkers a specious sense of virtue but make interruptions for eating less necessary.