The Theatre: We Haven't Got the Jitters

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After closing all London shows when war began, the British Government fortnight ago announced that theatres more than a mile and a half from London's West End could stay open until 10 p. m. Instantly members of the leftwing, nose-thumbing Unity Theatre Club—whose Babes in the Wood last winter razzed "Wicked Uncle" Chamberlain—laid down a tape measure, found that their playhouse lay just outside the proscribed area. Next instant song & lyric writers rolled up their shirt sleeves, sweated for 36 hours on end, turned out a Sandbag Follies in 20 scenes, which opened last week.

Scripts in hand, the cast started off patriotically, keeping Britain's chin up with such songs as We Haven't Got the Jitters and An Air Raid Shelter for Two. But soon they were back at digging Chamberlain in the ribs and blasting England's slowpoke policy on the Western Front. Said a "communiqué": "It is officially stated that British troops have arrived in France and have agreed to fight on the same side as the French. A formula is being prepared." Began a song:

If we can't win the war with Mr. Chamberlain's permission, We'll just have to do it without.

But it was "Chamberlain" himself, darkly muttering a ditty, who stole the show: I'm Watty the warden from Wandsworth With helmet and gas mask complete. . . . When the bombers on high Drop their gas from the sky I'll waggle my rattle until they pass by.