Miscellany, Sep. 25, 1944

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Out of This World. In McCook, Neb., Pfc. Ernest Olivier spun in a jitterbugging step, reached for his jiving partner's hand, plunged out the second-story window of the dance hall.

Extraction. In Chicago, Dr. Cecil Fisher complained that a young lady patient fainted in his examination chair, removed $175 from his pocket while being revived.

Fare Dealing. In Portland, Ore., a woman passenger handed a bus driver two tickets, explained: "I weigh 481 pounds, and I really take up two full seats."

Brass Rings. In San Francisco, merry-go-rounders went round & round & round while the attendant was too occupied in a fist fight to shut off the motor.

As Ye Sow. ... In Harlem, Mrs. A. D. Babb had two signs in her window: 1) Midwife; 2) Petite Hand Work.

Incompatibility. In Detroit, Mrs. Marie Kohn, suing for divorce, declared that her husband Hassin, a professional fortuneteller, would give her no mystic love philters, declined to look into the crystal ball to solve their problems, refused to read or even hold her hand.

Freedom Rings. In Reno, a new high was set when 58 divorce actions were filed in one day. In Ossining, N.Y., attendance at Sing Sing Prison amounted to 1,621, a new low.

Dig That. In Oklahoma City, the McCracken children dug foxholes in the back yard, unearthed 110 gallons of gas buried there more than twelve years.

Major & Minor. In Washington, D.C., a middle-aged major, lone & lorn in his furnished room, applied for a night job as a babysitter.

The Old Story. In Chicago, the Brookfield Zoo got a new baby yak on the same day their escaped stork came flying home.

Dead Eye. In Fort Sheridan, Ill., the post rifle-shooting competition was won by one-eyed Sergeant Earl Tautages.

First Frost. In Jersey City, Ignatz C. Banikonis, tipsy and overheated, lay down for a short nap, melted his way through the crust on a pool of tar, woke in the morning frozen in the tar except for part of his head and right side.

Technicality. In Lewiston, Idaho, a waitress flatly refused to sell cheese to be taken out of the restaurant, gave in when the customer ordered "two cheese sandwiches—untoasted and without bread."