RADICALS: Down With Us!

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On second thought, the U.S. Communists discovered that they could do without themselves. The National Committee of the party last week resolved—unanimously, of course—to stage a full-dress left-handed harakiri, with mass meetings, Browder speeches, and all.

Swan Browder sang a moving goodby. He sang of a beautiful world-a-coming, with "the two-party system traditional in our country" working to everybody's satisfaction, the system of free enterprise "beyond question" operating "to the benefit of labor, farmers and capital"—in short, at last the full realization of the Communist Party program. He had achieved his life's fulfillment, and now he could joyfully close his eyes for the long rest. As to his party, it will devote its remaining days to the cause of education in general, in the spirit of Thomas Jefferson.

The new party line of suicide would have been assured of unqualified popular approval throughout the country, if it weren't for two facts: 1) very few cared, anyhow; 2) fewer still believed the Communists' word, not even their last.