Miscellany, Sep. 6, 1943

• Share

Swagger. In Manhattan, Pickpocket David Hauser appeared in court wearing what he called a loot suit—loose at the waist, tight at the cuffs, for the transportation of swag.

Misnomenclature. In Denver, a Blackfoot Indian named Melvin Forgets-Nothing arrived at his recruiting office nearly a day late for his physical examination.

Expediter. In Tulsa, Harry Eugene Scherer explained why he had laid some ties across a railroad track and stopped a passenger train: he wanted to get on.

No Rabbits. In Leonia, N.J., John A. Earl, candidate for a state senatorship, guarded against hocus-pocus at the drawing for positions on the primary ballot by taking along a magician as a watcher.

Backward, Turn Backward. In San Francisco, a pedestrian stopped by Police Inspector George Page explained why he was walking backward: "I like to read the expressions on the faces of the people who are following me." Subject for Study. In Hackensack, N.J., county jailers greeted Rose Mann, charged with assault & battery, studied her 360 pounds, studied their cell doors, arranged for her release without bail.

Chicken Grit. In Rochelle, Georgia, J. B. Standridge reported that his chickens had finally learned how to keep from being abducted by owls, who used to nudge them off their perches, then grab them on the wing. The chickens gritted their gums, held fast, let the owls nudge away till they gave up.

King of Crust. In Houston, the day after Mrs. John Clash's car was stolen, she got a wire from the thief, now 150 miles away, who asked for $25 to pay for repairs.

Wandering. In Charlotte, N.C., a hotel finally got back a room key, mailed by soldiers who found it in North Africa.

Suitcaseful. In Philadelphia, the thief who stole Gladys Ferber's suitcase may or may not have been happy about the swag in it: two strip-tease dresses, a string of beads, three feathers, a sarong, a net brassiere, a rhinestone G-string, and a purple Cellophane shirt.

Soup Stew. In Manhattan, harried Restaurateur Raymond Andrieux, trying to please everybody, changed his Vichyssoise to De Gaulloise, then to Giraudoise, finally to Françoise, distractedly announced: "If this proves unsatisfactory I shall call it Cordell Hulloise. . ."