Foreign Relations: Have Talking Cell, Will Travel

"Look! It's Bob Hope!" cried one canal dweller as the aquatic parade set houseboats arocking on a Bangkok klong. Well, almost. On his far-flung tour of the Far East last week, Hubert Horatio Humphrey everywhere displayed his infectious euphoria, dispensed pharmaceutical advice and ad-libbed some passable one-liners. Before leaving South Viet Nam, he was invited by Chief of State Nguyen Van Thieu to come back and hunt an elephant some time. "I spend most of my time at home," replied Humphrey, "hunting elephants."

Between klong calling and baby bussing, Humphrey worked hard and happily at the serious business of representing his Government on the impromptu, nine-nation, 41,000-mile tour that Lyndon Johnson decreed as a fitting epilogue to the strategy conference in Hawaii. The Vice President carried it off with verve and style.

Infiltrated Pigs? His mission was to promulgate the two-war theme enunciated in the Declaration of Honolulu. "Yes, indeed," he declared in South Viet Nam, "two wars can be won—the war to defeat the aggressor and the war to defeat the ancient and persistent enemies, disease, poverty, ignorance and despair. The people of South Viet Nam will make their choice.

They will choose their government and the opportunity for a decent, finer life for the humblest of citizens, and they will reject the Communist system of terror and torture, extortion and fear. And when that choice is finally made, then the Viet Cong will wither and fade away."

Weariness could not wither nor repetition stale Hubert's infinite exuberance. Whether addressing U.S. combat units in Viet Nam or discussing the merits of U.S. tractors with Laotian officials, handing out Senate gallery passes to giggling Pakistani nurses or teaching Thai children to say "O.K." and "Goodbye," Humphrey was on center stage every minute of his trip. His only moment of humiliation came in, of all places, friendly Saigon, where, despite his blandishments and some rafter-ringing hooo-ees, the black Berkshire hogs at an agricultural-experiment station haughtily ignored the Vice President—evidence, no doubt, that the Viet Cong have even infiltrated the porcine population.

Ball Deferred. In Thailand, Humphrey inspected the ornate wats (temples) and expertly demonstrated the wai—the traditional Thai greeting that consists of a slight bow with palms pressed together at the chest. Visiting the impoverished, Red-infiltrated northeast of Thailand, Humphrey told Foreign Minister Thanat Khoman: "You have some fine country here. It looks like Minnesota." His main aim in Bangkok was to assure the Thai government that the Administration's new emphasis on social goals in Southeast Asia portended no diminution of the military effort to repel Communist aggression. The joint communique issued by Humphrey and Prime Minister Thanom Kittikachorn reaffirmed the "urgent necessity" of strengthening Thailand's U.S.-equipped armed forces.