Customs: I Dreamt I Was in Jo'burg

When an Afrikaner looks at a girl and sighs, "Ah, a 38!" he is less apt to be ogling statistics than calculating calibers. More than 27,000 white women in South Africa these days belong to pistol clubs, and many thousands more go armed. The latest boon for pistol-packing mommas is a lightweight leather holster that clips on any brassiere and facilitates an Instant Oakley draw in case of trouble.

The designers, Johannesburg's Francois Joubert and Willem Taylor, both 27, say that 900 distaff Dillons in Kansas City, Chicago, Paris and Gibraltar have ordered the bra, which at $4.55 (including detachable covers in colors, as well as lessons in the handling of guns) has attracted 525 South African buyers since late last year. Joubert and Taylor are urging local fashion houses to manufacture special blouses for easier holster attachment, arguing "a figure that attracts an admirer can attract an attacker too."

Not all women agree. "Any girl with a good figure will have a man around to protect her," sniffs a Johannesburg model. Other women protest that a bra holster makes them appear top-heavy on the portside. To which Britain's staid Tailor & Cutter added archly: "A couple of hand grenades would seem more esthetic." Joubert and Taylor are unworried. They have nothing to fear but the topless dress.