Chips Are Down. In Chicago, Donald J. Dalman, 40, was sentenced to three years in jail for writing phony checks on a check-writing machine he won in a poker game.

Overdrive Test. In Bellflower, Calif., Truck Driver Lon F. Allen, 27, explained why he tried to run over a highway patrolman: "I wanted to prove I was not afraid of a policeman."

Mind Cure. In Atlanta, taking a tolerant view of the bigamy charge against Jackson L. Langford, 96, the solicitor general said that he probably got mixed up through "just being absent-minded.''

Horse Winner. In Minot, N. Dak., when a riderless horse ran into Warren Melby's 1957 Chevrolet cab at a main intersection, the cab suffered $400 damages, the horse a leg cut.

C.P.A.? In Los Angeles, Model Virginia De Lee, 21. won a divorce after testifying that when she asked her husband why he didn't get a job, he slugged her "and told me to mind my own business."

Proportional Representation. In Hialeah, Fla., Mayor Henry Milander indignantly denied rival politicos' claims that he fixes $5,000 worth of traffic tickets a month, said he fixes less than $500 worth a month.

Perfectionist. In Keokuk, Iowa, after Service Station Attendant Dewayne Gray, 22, serviced a customer's car, getting it in tiptop shape, he grabbed $229 from the cash register, climbed into the car and drove off in it.

Heir-Tight. In Omaha, Ignatius Lutgen, 63, separated from his wife a year after their 1929 marriage, finally sought and got an annulment, explained: "I didn't want her to get my social security."

Market Crash. In San Bernardino, Calif., as he and a sheriff's officer chased a burglar through his supermarket, Owner Charles R. Barmlett drew a careful bead on the thief, fired his revolver, wounded the deputy in the thigh.

Occupational Therapy. In South Shields, England, after a juvenile court sent a 16-year-old petty thief to a psychiatrist in the hope of finding out what made him steal, the doctor reported that the boy had swiped $2.80 during the consultations.

Self-Conviction. In Versailles, France, Red Cross Worker Maryvonne Daniel. 50, married for 27 years, complained to her husband that "other girls are freer than I am; they are widows or divorcees," was sentenced to eight years in jail for trying to attain widowhood by starting a fire while husband Joseph was asleep.