Public Schools: Song for Dropouts

"The worst thing about being a drop out," deadpans Comedian-Singer Allan Sherman, 39, "is that you don't have a school song. So I wrote one." The result, seven verses of roughshod wit set to a lively medley of college tunes, is the hit of Sherman's new record, Allan in Wonderland. His mordant Drop-Outs March may do more to keep kids in school than hours of sermonizing by principals and parents. Samples: 4/4 TIME, FORTE

Drop, dropouts out of school,

Proud of the will to fail.

You won't find us in the school hall—Look in the pool hall

Or in jail.

SLOWLY, WITH FEELING

Ignoramus, there you are, Sitting in your hopped-up car, And your brains ain't up to par, And your ears stick out too far.

Sherman's own school career was one long, unintentional succession of dropouts. His mother married four times, kept moving before, after and during each marriage. Between the ages of 6 and 16, he attended 21 schools in Chicago, Los Angeles, New York City and Miami. Once, it was young Sherman who insisted on switching; he refused to enroll in a high school because it did not teach Latin, a language in which he now boasts conversational proficiency. He ultimately fetched up in the University of Illinois and departed before graduation as a draftee.

Obviously no typical dropout, he went on to success and riches in show business. But he still feels mild pangs of guilt about his casual academic career, and the song is supposed to make dropouts squirm. It does. Several West Coast disk jockeys told Sherman that they won't play the song during peak audience hours, 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. That's when the dropouts are still moping around the house wondering what trouble to get into. Mustn't offend them.