COMMON MARKET: Britons in Burnooses

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Last spring, when the British were debating how to vote in a referendum on whether or not to stay in the Common Market, a top Belgian official said: "It would be masochistic of the British to leave, but it might be sadistic of them to stay." It was a prophetic comment. After trying so hard for so long to join the European Economic Community, Britain has apparently become the chief obstacle to European unity. Last week, after London nearly tore apart a meeting of Common Market heads of government in Rome, one EEC diplomat sadly concluded that "the British still don't understand what the Community is all about, or how it works."

The point of contention was next week's ministerial conference in Paris of the rich nations of the North, the poor nations of the South, and the oil cartel. The original plan was that the nine nations of the Common Market would be represented by only one delegation, speaking for all the member states according to principles worked out in advance. In October, however, Prime Minister Harold Wilson's government declared that Britain wanted a seat of its own at the meeting. Wilson said that North Sea oil would soon make Britain a prime producer of oil, and thus it deserved a separate voice.

Not Funny. Whitehall officials have often joked that Britain might some day become a member of the Arab-dominated Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) and that some London civil servants might exchange their bowlers for Arab burnooses. Last week, at Rome's baroque Palazzo Barberini, Wilson in all seriousness argued before his Common Market colleagues that "it is no longer a humorous matter to point out that in a few years there is a strong possibility that Britain could become a member of OPEC."

In one of the most bitter exchanges anyone can remember at such a meeting, West Germany's Chancellor Helmut Schmidt acidly described Britain as "the poor relative of Europe." He also reminded Wilson that until the oil begins to flow in volume, a nearly bankrupt Britain will be dependent on the support and good will of the Community's richer members. "Dear Harold," Schmidt said, "you still have two or three difficult years ahead of you. The Community is in the habit of coming to the aid of its members in difficulty. In the event of another economic crisis, there would be great need for the common front of all members. If you run [the Community] aground, certainly Germany will survive more easily than Great Britain."

French President Valéry Giscard d'Estaing, who is the chief promoter of the Paris conference, was almost equally antagonized by Wilson's attitude.