Miscellany, Apr. 24, 1939

Wonderland

In Ndola, Northern Rhodesia, a tea party on the Provincial Commissioner's lawn was interrupted by a wild baboon. The guests fled and he finished their pastry, picked some flowers, disappeared. Same night the pleased baboon returned, rang the doorbell hopefully, was shot.

Moonshine

In Memphis, Tenn., Negro Eddie Guidon was charged with operating a whiskey still. He at first pleaded guilty. Asked how much moonshine he had made, Eddie Guidon replied, "None." To the judge he explained: "I sho can't prove I ain't guilty, boss." Verdict: Not guilty.

Lost

In the Western World of Bandon, Ore. appeared a notice: "Lost—At Port Orford beach, a hunk of right thumb with small piece of thumb nail attached. Finder please notify Ruth Tucker."

Manna

In Ontario, Calif., Mrs. lola Martin stepped out of her mother's house, heard a clatter on the roof, was almost hit by twelve perch which slid off the eaves. Overhead a flock of cranes flapped hurriedly away.

Tires

In Huntington, W. Va., firemen were ordered to "take it easy" on their way to fires. Reason: the fire-engine tires were threadbare.

Bite

In Rochester, N. Y., researchers for the Dental Association announced that if a man bit a dog, it would be bad news for the dog. Reason: the virulent bacteria in a man's mouth outnumber those in a dog's.

Ticket

In Tucson, Ariz., Marjorie Volke set out for a drive, noticed a traffic ticket under her automobile's windshield wiper. Without stopping her car she reached for the ticket, skidded into a hydrant, released a geyser. Autoist Volke's bill (for the hydrant): $50.

Skeleton

In Washington, D. C. the U. S. Treasury Department's Procurement Division sought "one male human skeleton, with bones of a single individual." Specifications: removable arms, legs, feet, skull, one removable hand, one horizontal skull cut. Purpose: exhibition at the Marine Hospital, St. Louis.

Wham

Near Princeton, N. J., an automobile driven by Peace J. Wham, a Father Divine disciple, crashed into a car jampacked with nine undergraduates, killed Princeton Senior Joseph Gifford.