Cinema: Stolen Goods

Recently, comic westerns have assumed that Cat Ballon had nine lives. Waterhole #3 offers ample evidence that it did not. This latest imitative incarnation lacks Lee Marvin and much else besides. An arguably lovable villain (James Coburn) plugs an enemy with a long-distance rifle, then takes from the corpse a map indicating a cache of glommed Government gold. Before setting out on the treasure hunt, he finds time to rape the local sheriff's daughter. When confronted by the indignant father, he claims roguishly that the murder was self-defense, the rape merely "assault with a friendly weapon." The lumpish lawman not only buys the story, but comes along on the gold rush. Ultimately, the thief heads for Mexico with the loot, cheating every-one—the sheriff, the girl, the U.S. Cavalry and the viewer.

As he proved with the Flint films, Coburn can cut a wide peel from some mighty small potatoes. But this enterprise makes him seem less a star than a character actor who needs smaller roles in order to regain his comic stature. In part, the blame may lie with a bland, spiritless script that fancies itself original in lampooning western cliches, yet has the temerity to steal Jack Benny's most famous joke: "Your money or your life." Pause. "Well?" "I'm thinking." Theft and rape may sometimes be forgivable; plagiarism never.