Inhuman Relations: Sticky Ticket Wicket

Roger Fischer, a suburban Chicago manufacturing executive, was surprised a year ago when he received a citation charging him with a parking violation in Chicago; his car was not in Illinois at the time. In response to his polite letter of protest, the clerk of the circuit court sent Fischer a computerized notice declaring that payment of the fine was due. He wrote a second explanation. The computer replied with another message demanding $5. The fruitless ex: change between Fischer and the machine continued for four months, leading to a curt notice saying, in essence: pay up or face arrest.

Fischer, who has had five years of experience with computers as a vice president of Mid-Continent Screw Products, finally realized that he would have to deal with the machine on its own terms. Using a computer available to his company, he dispatched punch cards to the traffic violations bureau. Said the civilian computer to its official cousin: "Apparently the letters sent to the humans who try to control you are being disregarded. The violation is not valid. I suggest you instruct them to erase the ticket from your memory bank. I hope you can make them understand."

The bureau's computer could appreciate that kind of talk—and so could the machine's human programmers. One year after the correspondence had begun, Fischer received punch cards in return and fed them into his machine. "Dear Human," read the printout, "at last I have found somebody who understands my language." The computer explained that it had been given the wrong license number by one of its human operators. The charge was dismissed, and the computer added cheerfully: "If you're ever in the neighborhood, come up and see me some time."